1-my best friends are. 2- What I hate most about myself. 3- What I love most about myself. 4- What I’m really good at. 5- What I’m really bad at. 6- Biggest turn ons. 7- Biggest turn offs. 8- What I want to be when I get older. 9- My relationship with my sibling(s). 10- My relationship with my parents. 11- My idea of a perfect date. 12- My biggest pet peeves. 13- A description of the boy I like. 14- A description of the person I dislike the most. 15- A reason I’ve lied to a friend. 16- Where I have lived before. 17- A description of the family I want to have when I’m older. 18- What my greatest achievements are. 19- What I hate the most about school. 20- How my last kiss when down. 21- Most embarrassing moment. 22- What my last text message says. 23- What words upset me the most. 24- What words make me the best about myself. 25- A description of my self-esteem. 26- A description of my best friend. 27- The reason behind my last break up. 28- My favourite songs right now. 29- A wish that I’ve wished for repeatedly on 11:11. 30- An internal conflict I have with myself. 31- The meanest thing anyone has ever said to me. 32- The sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.
Hi. I know I usually don’t write a lot on my blog, my grammar is not that good and also cuz my ability to express my self is comparable to the one a rock has.
Yet, today was an awful day for me, and something about writing this in solitude for a stranger to read, to maybe feel identified or just laugh at it, seems somehow the way I want to take this out.
Today I felt unlovable, and even though I have good friends, decent people that care for me, it’s different. I don’t usually talk about the things that affect me, I hate when they see me vulnerable, I don’t tell them I love them as often as I should and the best part, is they don’t care, they love me still.
But as I got a new book (and this is something u may not know about me: I love romantic novels) by rachel hawthorne, I realize something. I used to think I like this novels cuz ppl can express themselves in a way I might never will, but then it hit me, I want a love story and if i cant get one my own, I’ll just read it.
Now u tell me, how pathetic is that? I felt so stupid, I just really miss having somebody by my side, to kiss, to hold whenever I want to. So I found myself craving for it without even noticing it, u know its not like I’m isolated emotionally, it is just that ppl turn out to be so dissapointing.
Anyway, I felt ridiculous, but then again I know I’m strong, I know how much I worth, so why does something like that affects me? It should not. However it did, so this is what I think now, as tough as I might be, I’m a helpless romantic and I need to deal with it, yet I’m also smart, so I don’t want anything if it ain’t real. I’m young, I have my life ahead of me, hot hahahaha but most important a good person and a happy one with himself, so love is on their way.
Till then, romantic novels would fulfill my cheesy need for love hahaha (i’m a bit kind of ashame of that but whatever, they make me happy). So if u felt the same way I did, don’t worry, be happy, take care of urself, become stronger, even grow some bad bone if it’s needed! hahahaha… The more love u give, the more u will receive, just always know what u want and do not settle for less than that, ever.
So… enough said, this is just a bit of myself I wanted to share with u.
"What I hope the most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that though I do not know you and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you.